Monday, August 10, 2009
On happiness
As a psychology major, former case manager, and "consumer of mental health services" (namely, Buproprion HCl [for depression]), I have heard more times than I can count that the most successful treatment for mental illness is a combination of drugs and therapy. It was almost cliché. Beyond that, it sounded so simple. Of course! If drugs work, and therapy works, the combination of the two treatments would work better!
Alas! I really feel like, after having suffered from depression for 10-15 years, and having all of the training mentioned above, i didn't really get it until just a few minutes ago.
Antidepressants work. I feel much better. I don't have bouts where I feel ready to crash, where I want to do nothing except sink my head into my pillow. What I still DO have are feelings of inadequacy, problems being social, anxiety, and mood swings. What the antidepressants have done is make them less of a problem, which is great, except I feel that (at least at some level) I was a more interesting person before I started taking them.
Mind you, I am not going to quit my medications! But what I am going to TRY to do is work on improving these things. The medications made my negative moods less severe, yes, but they did not particularly increase my positive attitude. In fact, they may have made me appreciate it less, because it wasn't as drastic of a change. I need to show my negativity less: complain less, dwell on bad things less, let fewer problems occupy my thoughts (or at least reduce the time I think about any ONE problem).
I need to focus MORE on how good I feel when things are going right; I need to assume people are not trying to hurt me when things go wrong, and I need to take a more active role in being friendly.
I don't know if I will succeed at this, but I am going to try! If I have weird mantras taped up places, this is why.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuition SNAFU
Current Activity
Code | |||
---|---|---|---|
Non-resident Tuition | TNG1 | 20-JUL-2009 | 8,240.00 |
General Service Fee | TG02 | 20-JUL-2009 | 3,841.40 |
Repair Rehabilitation Fee | TRR | 20-JUL-2009 | 144.00 |
Technology Fee | TECH | 20-JUL-2009 | 83.60 |
Term Balance: | $12,309.00 |
Even though this is clearly an error (or else a tricky way for Kim to get me to replace RJ as the lab tech), I wonder if my parents got the same icky feeling that I just got every semester that they paid for my college tuition? Sorry, Mom & Dad!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Hello!
Since the last post, Jill & Evan, and Chrissy & Chris got married (yay!). Jessica gets married sooo soon, then it will be Lehmann, and then my cousin, Emily. Craziness. Just found out Chelsea's sister is getting married soon, too! Exciting!
My wedding is getting so close! We have a lot done, but a lot more TO do. I am envisioning a trip to Chicago in the near future. It is getting more and more real every day that I will soon be Dan's wife. I am so lucky :)
In other news, we recently had a nice 4th of July celebration! On the 3rd, Dan and I joined the rest of his family in watching the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra perform at Connor Prairie. Cannons were involved! I cannot even imagine conducting cannons! The fireworks were also amazing; they were timed with the music, and really beautiful, colorful, and large!!! The only major downside was that parking [especially leaving the event] was an absolute nightmare, but only because the event was so popular. Anyway, we had a great time; it is always good to see the Noland crew.
On the 4th, Mary Ann and Jared hosted a dinner party. Though the weather was not so cooperative, we were very lucky to have some amazing food, most of which was cooked by Jared (although I must say that Lindsey & Chris's strawberry shortcakes, and our berry tart were also good!). During a break in the rain, we went outside and lit sparklers, which is always fun... it was Mary Ann's first experience lighting fireworks, so that was also cute. I can't even remember the first time I lit a sparkler... I must have been 4 or 5, haha.
All day today I felt sick, but I felt well enough to eat some food by dinnertime, and then [slowly] walk around downtown Lafayette for the gallery walk. We saw Chelsea and her friends, which was fun... we are meeting up with them soon to see the new Harry Potter movie. Awesome.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Happenings
I forgot to mention that I went to Chicago in mid-April for Jill's wedding shower and bachelorette party!!! It was lots of fun! We went to Cafe Ba Ba Ree Ba for delicious tapas and sangria. I can't believe Jill will be married in less than 2 weeks!!! That is CRAZY (and awesome!). Yay for Jill and Evan!
Chrissy is also getting married soon (one week after Jill). Her bachelorette party is this weekend, and I am psyched (although I am feeling kinda sick, so I hope that goes away). We'll be hanging out in downtown Indy, livin' it up. I am excited to be Chrissy, April and Robin's sistah!
Speaking of weddings, ours is 150 days away today. That is approx. 5 months! I have kindof reached a point where I am unsure of what exactly to do. I almost wish it were closer to the deadline so that I could feel like I'm doing more (but I'm sure that I will kick myself 3 months from now for saying that).
Work-wise, I have been doing a lot, but it has been more enjoyable lately. Brain cutting is mind-numbingly boring; right now I am sampling blood from rats, and learning how to do ELISAs (enzyme linked immuno sorbent assays). Even though hormonal assays are repetitive, I sort-of enjoy them; stuff changes color (that ALWAYS makes me happy), you get the results immediately, and other than pipetting issues, there isn't a whole lot of room for error. Much better than things like in situ hybridization (which I am going to do with the brains), where ANYTHING can go wrong, and you won't know it 'til the very end!
On Thursday, Dan, Brad, Liz and I went to see the Blackhawks annihilate the Canucks in game 4 of the semifinals. I guess annihilate is not the right word, since it was scoreless during the 1st, then the Canucks had the lead for over a period, only to have the Hawks score in the last few minutes of the game, and take it into OT. THEN the Hawks quickly won in sudden death. Despite the low score, it was exciting! They also won on Saturday and Monday to secure playing for the conference title.
On Saturday, Liz and I ran in a the Jay Cooperidge Memorial 5k, which supports mental illness. I was dumb and ate cereal with a bit of milk a bit too close to the race, and I was feeling sick to my stomach for most of it. My time was not so good (30:50ish), but I finished, and that is what really matters.
I guess that is all to report for now. Ta ta!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sleep?!?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Happy birthday, Dan!
We had a fantastic time together! On Saturday we had a nice lunch at Jane's Cafe, and then went to see Much Ado About Nothing, performed by the actors at Purdue. It was really good, AND some guy proposed to his girlfriend at the end of it (she said yes!). After that, we wandered around, and then had a picnic in the park. It was a beautiful day! After the picnic, we walked around, and enjoyed the weather, and then went home and relaxed.
On Sunday (Dan's real birthday), we had lunch at Panera, and then Dan worked in the garden (he planted his tomatoes and peppers. Very exciting!) while I went for a long run (5.5 mi!). It was super hot, and the run was not that fun, but fortunately there were many water fountains over by the park on Salisbury to drink from, as well as the occasional wind gust. Still, when I got home, I was super overheated, and I kept sweating for like 2 hours!!! Today I am sore, but I am sure it was good for me. Anyway, after Dan and I got cleaned up from our respective activities, we drove to Indianapolis and ate dinner at Maggiano's with Dan's family. It was really nice; lots of food, good company, etc. They gave Dan (and April, b/c her birthday was Friday!) these gigantic dessert platters [Maggiano's doesn't do anything small] that had cookies, cream puffs, ice cream, cakes, bananas (that had been caramelized), strawberries, and probably a whole bunch of other things on it. YUM.
I hope that Dan (and April) had fun. I also hope that Dan learns a lot at his secret conference in Our Nation's Capitol!
GO HAWKS!
OK, first and foremost, the Chicago Blackhawks have moved on to Round 2 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Yay. Then we will be playing the Canucks in Round 2. Simultaneously, the Mighty Ducks will be playing the Red Wings... it is rare that I root for a California team in Hockey (they can have summer sports!), but the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so go Ducks! Anyway, exciting times.
The other news of the day is that Dan is gone far far away at a conference. This is sad, but it has allowed me to be productive. Remember how I said I cut 4 brains on Friday. That is actually a lot of brains. Today I cut 10. I am still in the lab, getting all of my stuff together so I can go home. I was going to try to cut another one, because I accidentally cut one that I didn't need to cut (suck!) but the cryostat started to defrost midway through my last brain, which I think was my cue that I had overstayed my welcome.
So, now I have 27 brains left to cut. 7/day I will be done this week! This is unlikely, due to classes, etc., but it IS possible!
That said, it is kinda pointless to rush it sooo much, since Kim said she would be away much of June, so it looks like getting my masters this summer is nearly impossible. That is sad; I really wanted to. It just sucks that all the profs are away during the short window of time available!
Well, I guess it is time for me to go home and sleep! It has been a long, long day!
Friday, April 24, 2009
productivity report
insulin RIA: complete
data entry: complete
leptin RIA: complete
readings for class: not started/due Wednesday
experimental design - human subjects paper/presentation: not started/complete
brains left: 36.
Today I got 4 brains done, and it was a lot of work! If I can do 3/day on average, that is ~15/week, which means 2-3 weeks of solid brain cutting! UGH!
That said, that means if I work my butt off I can have the brains all fixed and ready for in situ by the very middle of may. Of course, this is unlikely b/c of the Ghrelin RIA that I have to run... plus the meal testing, etc. but we will see how it goes (maybe I can bribe an undergrad or RJ into cutting at least 1-2 for me?)
In any case, if I DO get the brains and such finished SUPER quick, AND I do the in situ SUPER quick, AND I analyze the data SUPER QUICK AND there are no problems, AND I know what I am writing about, AND nobody decides to go on an EXTRA EARLY vacation, there is a SLIM chance that I could defend my masters in time for August graduation. That would be SUPER EXCITING!
...but unlikely. I am going to shoot for it anyway. It is my goal, but if I can't get it done, then I at least want to defend as soon as Powley gets back from Colorado in early August. That is definitely doable.
Happy birthday, April!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Weddings
Well, eventually, my wedding has taken its form. It was a fairly organic process of me having an idea semi-formed in my head, only to find out a.) my idea was too expensive or difficult, or b.) my mom/sister/grandmother/fiance [not usually fiance] disagreed with it (often for very practical reasons!). Eventually, a new idea was suggested, and deemed acceptable to all, and then the focus turned to the next aspect of the event, which went through the same cycle (the flowers are a good example of this; originally i wanted a very organic, yet lavish display that would be difficult to make and encompass many different flowers and seasonal fruits. When that turned out to cost a fortune, we switched to more modern arrangements that I like a lot better in retrospect!).
Anyway, now that I have all the major details nailed down, I could honestly care less about reading wedding blogs (with the exception of apracticalwedding.com, which is awesome). 99.9% of weddings are pretty in that non-memorable way. That is not to say that these people didn't do a fantastic job (they usually did), or that it wasn't a rockin' party (probably was!). But the aesthetic of a wedding is so... wedding, it is hard for it to be anything else! That is, unless they are ugly (see below)!
Soo... since I don't think I can avoid having a weddingy wedding (and I don't think I want to), I am hereby making the conscious decision not to stress out over it anymore. We will see how long this lasts, lol.
Monday, April 13, 2009
productivity update
insulin RIA: complete
data entry: complete
leptin RIA: start tomorrow/finish Thursday
readings for class: not started/due Wednesday
experimental design - human subjects paper/presentation: not started/due Monday
brain cutting: like 50 to go
pick paper for TD's class.
goals for the week: leptin RIA, all homework, all talks completed. try on tuxedos with Dan. buy Jill a present.
weekend: (in Chicago) Jill's shower/bachelorette party. Rach's Dad's funeral :(
goals for next week: cut brains like it's goin' out of style. work on TD's class paper presentation. Tweak masters introduction/methods.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
AAAH
I can get my masters if I have all of my data done by the beginning of June so that I can have it all written up by June 10th (give or take a day) so everyone can read it and then I can defend by June 25th (again, give or take!). The real deadline (for all the paperwork) is July 10th, but Powley leaves for the mountains on June 28ish, and won't be back until August! Hopefully the rest of my committee isn't taking off in June (assuming there is ANY possibility of getting everything done in a timely manner!). I guess if I'm not done by then, I can still defend in August, but it would be cool to graduate before I get married!
So, to do (masters-wise):
Insulin RIA (started today, finished tomorrow), analyze data (for presentation on Monday).
Leptin RIA (will start next Monday!)
Ghrelin RIA (early May)
Cut 45 more brains
Fix Brains
NPY and POMC in situ
analyze data
write masters
So, we shall see how long this will take. The pressure is certainly on!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Fitflops?
Weird product of the day:
FitFlops; the muscle-toning flip flop.
Apparently they work by not being as stable as regular shoes (due to "micro-wobbleboards"), therefore demanding more muscles to support you. This sounds like it might be true, but I am highly skeptical of the "miraculous" results FitFlops are having on customers. Double-blind trials, anyone?
Anyway, at approx. $50, these flip flops ain't cheap. They also ain't cute. But we'll see how the latest fitness gimmick sells.
One for you, Nineteen for me!
I did my taxes today, and let me tell you, they were WEIRD (at least comparatively weird). You see, I'm on a fellowship; or WAS for 1/2 of 2008, so a lot of my income had no taxes deducted, and was not reported on a W2. As such, it was my responsibility to report the income (or not).
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Wedding Shoes are here!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
OMG [wedding] shoes!
Even not limiting myself to blue shoes, I was having a really difficult time finding something that fit my criteria. It was either too casual, to boring (like EVERY wedding shoe! gah!), too high-heeled, or TOO EXPENSIVE. I never realized I had such expensive taste before; I have always just refrained from buying, or settled on something from target or TJ Maxx that sort-of fit my needs... for my wedding I was being far more choosy. WAY too choosy, in fact; I was falling in love with Guiseppe Zanotti and Miu Miu, and seriously contemplated buying Blahniks because they were on sale for *only* $500.
Wow... I didn't realize I could EVER think a pair of shoes were cheap at $500. The wedding industry is clearly getting to me.
Fortunately, I stumbled upon these beauties from Martinez Valero, a designer from Spain. At $60, they are still a little more expensive than most shoes I own (I think my running shoes are the only ones currently in the rotation that cost more than $30), but well within my budget (goal price for wedding shoes: under $100; limit: under $200. Check, and check!). I ordered them from endless.com. I got the last pair in my size; here is hoping they fit!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Running
This is a very race-heavy week! On Wednesday, Chrissy and I ran the "Nearly Naked Mile" for the Purdue Alumni Student Experience (PASE). The point was to donate the clothes off your back to Lafayette Transitional Housing. I didn't donate the clothes off my back (nor did I go "nearly naked"... here I am dressed as Harley Quinn [sort-of!]), but I did donate a ton of my old clothes, and I did finish the race (we beat Spongebob!). I think we made pretty good time (but who knows for sure!).
Anyway, Lafayette Transitional Housing is a really good cause. They run the Lincoln Center (which is a subsidized apartment complex), and support for those that are homeless or in danger of losing their homes (in the form of bus tokens, food, clothing, employment assistance, etc.). When I worked at Wabash Valley Hospital, I talked to the organizers for awhile; they seem to really run a good program.
Tomorrow (Saturday) morning, Chrissy, Liz and I (and maybe RJ) are going to run in the HEROES 5k, which will benefit the Red Cross (another excellent cause!). I doubt that I will be setting any records, but it should be fun!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
...creepy.
I just read a poem by Michael Jackson, which will be auctioned off with a whole slew of memorabilia from Neverland Ranch. The poem is about children; specifically, "singing and dancing in innocent bliss" with children.
I don't think much needs to be explained; here is the poem:
Children of the world, we'll do it
We'll meet on endless shores
Making sandcastles and floating our boats
While people fight and defend their point of view
Forever putting on masks that are new
We'll swing the tide of time and do it.
Children of the world, we'll do it
With song and dance and innocent bliss
And the soft caress of a loving kiss
We'll do it.
While traders trade and haggle their price
And politicians try so hard to be nice
We'll meet on endless shores and floating our boats
We'll do it.
While lawyers argue and doctors treat
Stockbrokers quote the price on meat
While preachers preach and ring the bell
Carpetbaggers with something to sell
We'll sing and dance in innocent bliss
With the soft caress of a loving kiss
We'll do it.
Meeting on endless shores
Making sandcastles and floating our boats
We'll do it.
We'll ride the rainbow, a cloud, a storm
Flying in the wind, we'll change our form
We'll reach the stars, embrace the moon
We'll break the barrier and be there soon
While architects plan their buildings high
And trade unions raise their hue and cry
While boardroom squabbles generate heat
And in secret places dealers meet
We'll sing and dance in innocent bliss
And the soft caress of a loving kiss
We'll do it.
Endless dilemmas of body and mind
Physicists wander, continue to ponder
Perennial questions of space and time
Archeologists survey, continue to dig
Bygone treasures small and big
Psychologists probe, analyze the tears
Of hysterical notions, phobias, fears
While priests take confessions
In a serious session
And people struggle
In the hustle and bustle
In the noise and din
On the meaning of sin
We'll touch the stars, embrace the moon
Break the barrier, arrive there soon
Ride the rainbow, the cloud, the storm
Flying in the wind, changing our form
Children of the world, we'll do it
With song and dance and innocent bliss
The soft caress of a loving kiss
We'll do it.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Excitement of the day
The food was pretty good; I had salmon, Buzz and Dan each had their own type of pasta. It was good to see my grandpa; he seemed excited about our wedding, and asked a lot of questions about it. The guy is sort-of a free spirit, in his own way; he drove to Indianapolis to go to the bank (and try to find some old friends; I am sure he didn't give them much notice!), then he drove to Lafayette, and checked into a hotel, and called me at the very last minute (which is his way); he did not have a thing on him! No luggage, pajamas, etc. I guess that the Lafayette stop was a bit of an afterthought. I don't know if I am of the temperament to just wander around; sometimes I wish I was!
On being healthy
On the bright side, I have been running fairly sporadically, but about 2x/week, which is good, but otherwise I sit a lot. I should do more running, or maybe swimming, cycling, yoga, weight training, etc. More of something, anyway. I would like to be able to run 3 consecutive 8 minute miles without too much trouble. Thus far, I have had one mile under 8:00 TOTAL (I am proud of that mile!).
So, to correct my diet, and improve my exercise habits, I am turning back to my old friend Sparkpeople. I honestly don't have enough good things to say about sparkpeople; I lost almost 50 lbs using their website, and have kept [most] it off for a fairly long time. For those of you who are looking to lose weight, it is an excellent tool; their system makes a lot of sense to me (I will talk about their system later). I think that it is a decent tool for anybody (wanting to lose weight or not) to track their fitness accomplishments, and assess their diets (to see if they're generally eating a healthy amount/variety of food).
The other thing I like about it is that there is a lot of information about not punishing yourself too harshly for screwing up. So you ate a pizza... maybe 2000 calories. Sure, that's a lot, but there is very little harm done until you convince yourself you are a failure at dieting and quit altogether.
Anyway, I am not really trying to lose weight (maybe 5 lbs max), but I do want to be healthy, so I will try to track my calories/exercise (I keep wanting to write ingestive behavior jargon here! sorry!) for the next few weeks [maybe longer; i have mostly figured out how to eat a healthy diet, but sometimes need to be reminded, lol]. If anybody wants to join me, feel free!!! :)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A Look Back
from the American Journal of Gastroenterology (2009; 104:552)
The Flush Toilet
Robert E. Kravetz
Disposal of human waste has been an issue since humans have inhabited the Earth. Prehistoric man relieved himself out of doors; much later, Native American and early American settlers also used the rivers, woods, and shrubs to fulfill their toilet needs in the same primitive way. There is archaeological evidence, however, of domestic communal toilets from many ancient civilizations dating back to 2500 BC.
At the height of the Roman Empire, there was a highly developed water system and one for waste management with underground sewers and indoor privies in each home. After the decline of the Empire the entire system collapsed, and by the Middle Ages in Europe, and well into the eighteenth century, waste disposal meant throwing the material out of a window or door onto the street and into the gutter.
In 1596, Sir John Harrington of England invented the first flush toilet, but the public mocked and ignored his invention. Nearly 200 years passed before, in 1775, Alexander Cummings received the first patent for a water closet. By the 1800s, the golden age of toilets had begun. Thomas Crapper is erroneously thought to have invented the toilet, but his contribution was a series of plumbing-related patents that revolutionized its operation.
The accompanying illustration shows a nineteenth-century toilet from an English catalog—a very elaborate fixture indeed!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
So many papers...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Scary.
I think this is particularly bad for me (and probably for Jill) given that we are doing most of our shopping on the North Shore of Chicago. I always knew it would be more expensive to get married in Chicagoland than say, Lafayette, IN. I just didn't know how bad it could be.
According to this website, the average American couple spends $15,299 and $25,498 on their wedding (this is probably excluding people who get married at a courthouse and don't have a "reception"). Here are some more statistics:
In West Lafayette [47906], the average cost of a wedding is: $19,429 and $32,382
Anderson, IN [46011]: $13,310 and $22,183
Indianapolis, IN [46201]: $16,369 and $27,282
Chicago, IL [60611]: $16,981 and $28,302
OK... about what you'd expect (actually, W. Laf. is full of some big spenders!). So imagine my surprise to see that the cost of a wedding in Wilmette, IL is: $72,362 and $120,603
HOLY SHIT!
Again, yes I expected it to be higher than pretty much all of Indiana... but more than 5x as expensive???
For some perspective, the cost of a wedding in Beverly Hills [90210] is: $57,216 and $95,361.
I'm not sure if I should feel good about myself for going *way* below average, or kick myself for agreeing to get married in such a frivolous part of the country!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
We have flowers!
I really liked her ideas for our arrangements, and also appreciated her giving me direct price quotes based on the flower choices (so that I can know various prices for bridesmaid bouquets, centerpieces, etc.). It will come in handy as we make tough decisons regarding what to keep and what to cut from our wedding (for budgetary reasons). Weddings are always a delicate dance between preference and practicality; it helps to be fully informed about what you're getting yourself into, though!
One of my major wedding pet peeves is that vendors are often *so* reluctant to give price estimates, but if you don't have a general feel for how much things cost, it is really hard to figure out how you are going to work out your budget!!! I understand that it can be impossible to give an exact quote on... say... centerpieces, when you don't know what a person wants, but you could give a range. how hard would it be to have this dialogue:
"Hi! I really like your work! What are your rates for centerpieces?"I really can't see how that would be a turn-off to a bride; knowing up front what you are getting into is important, and I would imagine (especially in this economy) that going in for a full consultation with a too-expensive florist would just waste everyone's time!!!
"Centerpieces start at around $35, but our average centerpiece costs $70"
"What would a $35 centerpiece typically include? What would a typical flower arrangement consist of?"
"A $35 centerpiece might be small vase of daisies at each table. A typical centerpiece would consist of a fairly tight bunch of roses, lilies, gerber daisies, etc. in an 8" round bowl. If you want to get very creative or large, the price goes up."
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Marriages
I believe that Prop 8 was a hateful piece of legislation that served no real point (don't like gay marriage? don't marry a gay!). I mean, let's face it, people... the people that developed Prop 8 are overwhelmingly religious. This is a nation that explicitly separates church and state in the constitution. US laws should not be based on religion, but on what is best for US citizens. Furthermore, there is no law forcing any church to recognize these marriages; if your conservative church disagrees with gay marriage, they are under no obligation to perform them! God not recognizing the marriage should be enough for these people, am I right?
Anyway, here is a really touching video, and a link to a petition (which you all should sign!)
"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.
Wedding planning part II
To continue with the wedding theme, Dan and I went to the Day of Discovery at St. Thomas Aquinas, the Purdue Catholic center. I have to say that as Catholic Churches go, I love St. Tom's. They are so laid back, and genuinely nice (and, most likely due to the fact that they are a part of a huge university, they are fairly liberal, and incredibly smart [these are both very important to me!]).
Anyway, the Day of Discovery is where engaged couples go to learn about married life (from other married couples). There were numerous topics that were discussed:
Family of origin, or the fact that everyone comes from a different background, and has a very different view of what is "normal." The couple that discussed this topic were great; the woman came from a huge Italian family that took many family vacations and gathered en masse for Christmas... the man was the product of a cheerleader and a professional hockey player, who divorced each other early on, and only took "vacations" to rekindle romances (leaving the children with their uncle and a six pack of beer). Needless to say, they had different opinions on taking family vacations!
The next presentation was about children; the presenters were very quiet, so it was difficult to hear, but they had some good information about making lifestyle changes to make life easier on you and your children.
After that, Joe and Kristen Abbey (Joe works with Dan at Arxan), discussed natural family planning, (known to some as the rhythm method, although it is more complicated than that). Not exactly sure if I'm ready to give my womb over to God (He still has the birth control margin of error!!!) but it was interesting, and useful to some, nonetheless! Joe and Kristen did a good job discussing a fairly awkward topic, so kudos to them (and congrats about their baby on the way)!
The next speakers discussed finances, which is especially necessary during these troubling times. Dan and I knew most of the info they discussed, but given that money is such a common cause of marital stress, it is certainly a good topic!
After finances, the same couple discussed inter-faith marriage, and how important it is to have your own beliefs (rather than to force them upon each other). They mentioned how it is important to make decisions regarding child rearing, and that respecting differences in faith is a sign of love.
This was followed up with a discussion of spirituality, which I thought was somewhat weak; the presenters did a lot of 'we recommend X book, Y prayer, etc.' rather than discussing their personal issues with spirituality. That said, it was a hard topic, and when presenting to a large (ish) group, it is probably difficult to walk the line between "not spiritual enough" and "alienating jesus freak."
After that, there was a discussion on communication, by a soon-to-be retired communications professor, and his wife of over 50 years. They were fantastic. There was a lot of good advice; don't make assumptions regarding what your spouse would think on an issue; don't go to bed angry; make time for each other (these two still go on little coffee dates several times a week!), have fun, etc. They told a story about how in the 1960s/70s, it seemed like every professor was having an affair with his secretary. This professor's secretary was basically a part of their family; they were good friends. Well, after several divorces in the neighborhood (due to some administrative "assisting"), people were on high alert, and when someone saw this professor step out of his car with his young secretary (to get lunch), word got around (eventually to the professor's wife). If there hadn't been communication in their relationship, both of them agreed that this type of accusation could have been terrible for them! Anyway, they were very cute! (The woman apparently goes parasailing! Go granny!)
After that, the subject of challenges came up, and our hosts discussed their struggles with a debilitating neurological condition (the wife was diagnosed at age 25! scary!), and how it is important to listen to each other, and allow your spouse to feel angry, or upset, at times.
After that, Fr. George came in and gave us a talking-to, before we went to the 5:30 mass for our special blessing. It was a very long day, and sitting in chairs for the whole time was tiresome, but we got through it, and we are now one step closer to getting married! Yay!
Wedding planning part I
Around Valentine's day, Dan and I went to Chicago to get some things sorted out; we wanted to interview florists and DJs, sort out the invitations, get my dress fitted, find wedding shoes, choose our cake, and photograph the wedding sites (so that we can plan things like the flowers).
First stop was Ixia Flowers in Evanston. While they could not make any appointments to discuss our wedding when we were there (duh, Valentine's day! bad oversight on my part!), Barbara Bellamy did provide us with photographs of thier work, and some very basic price ranges (nothing too illuminating, as they can't give a quote when they don't know what I want!). They had some *gorgeous* potted orchids; some of the most interesting I have ever seen. Their style is fairly modern, and they seem to have a good eye for line and color.
After that, we went to the Crest of Fine Flowers in Wilmette, where they actually *did* sit down and chat us up for awhile. The man that talked with us was very friendly, and I liked their policy of not adding *any* additional stress (ie. if we need an extra arrangement at the last minute, they will do it). Their flowers were beautiful, and they have obviously done some extremely ornate pieces; however prices were a little high (for our budget; it might be low for some people on the North Shore, lol), however, so I am not sure if we will be able to afford them.
I then went shoe shopping, and had absolutely no luck (although a woman made me consider for half a second that Christian Louboutins would be a fabulous addition to my outfit, and well worth the $700. Thankfully it was only half a second :)
The next day I tried on my dress, which is unfortunately still a tad snug. Hopefully they can let it out in the appropriate places. Even more hopefully, I will not gain any weight (probably should have passed on the free cookie today!).
Speaking of weight gain, we did pick out our cake. It will be fabulous, I think! We are buying it from Three Tarts in Northfield; it will be a combination of vanilla and banana cake, with chocolate ganache and banana filling, and white buttercream icing. Yum! For those of you who aren't cake fans, there will also be another dessert at the wedding.
After the cake tasting (which, btw, is a good enough reason to get married!), we picked out our invitations, which my mother ordered on Friday (yay!). So we can also check that off of our list! We also took photos of Sunset Ridge and St. Francis before riding off into the sunset! I will post some of these pictures as soon as I get the chance!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Gifts of the Water Magi
What is funny is we each bought giant bags of rice, two containers of hummus (same flavor), and pita bread, so now we have more rice and hummus than we could possibly need :-)
I also bought a box of bottled water; I was thinking of buying sparkling water (which is basically my obsession), but decided I didn't want to carry both of them out to the car, so resigned myself to drinking regular water, because Dan will also drink it (and it makes more sense to have something we will both drink).
When I got home, I saw three boxes of La Croix in the kitchen; Dan bought them for me, but did not buy himself any water.
The whole thing made me smile; it is really the little things that make you happy :-)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
1809
Two hundred years ago today, two of my favorite historical figures were born. Abraham Lincoln was born in a tiny, one room log cabin in Kentucky to two farmers. Charles Darwin was born to wealthy parents (his family owned the Wedgewood China company) in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, England.
Each of these men changed history massively; Lincoln held this country together during one of its most tumultuous times; he promoted equality, inspired troops, and became a symbol for all of us that a person from such humble roots can still succeed at the highest level (for more info on Lincoln, you can read my sister, Katie Hargrave's article here). As stated in Gettysburg on November 19, 1863:
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Interestingly, Charles Darwin also believed in equality, and was an avid abolitionist (as a yong man, he learned taxidermy from a freed slave). Darwin's work from Origin of Species, though hotly debated, has held up remarkably well; natural selection is a key biological principle, and provides a beautiful model for how the world has changed to be at its current state. He stated that:
As many more individuals of each species are born than can possibly survive; and as, consequently, there is a frequently recurring struggle for existence, it follows that any being, if it vary however slightly in any manner profitable to itself, under the complex and sometimes varying conditions of life, will have a better chance of surviving, and thus be naturally selected. From the strong principle of inheritance, any selected variety will tend to propagate its new and modified form.and
There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.
I think this statement is so beautiful; that forms are continually changing in nature, and that we are all a product of our parents and our changing environments. The NY Times has some great info on evolution and natural selection here.
What a lucky day 2/12/1809 was for nerds like me in 2009!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
In fact, there were so many things about running that I didn't believe... that it made you feel better, that there was a thing called "runner's high," that it was possible to enjoy it...
Strangely, I ran cross country in high school, but was never good, and never pushed myself to do anything challenging. I would get cramps from eating at the wrong time, or pushing myself too hard at first, and instead of working through it, I just walked for awhile. I never got the "runner's high" (not even when I *did* keep running), and I *never* enjoyed it. I think I may have been less depressed, but I don't even know that for sure since it was summertime, and I'm never as depressed in the summer.
Anyway, I was pretty much the worst one on the team, and never really took any pride in it. Now, I love it, though, and encourage everyone else to get out and move, even if you have to do it slowly. If you start running, know that you will be miserable at first, and to take it slow; it will get better, and you will enjoy it after awhile.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Graffiti art
Friday, February 6, 2009
Developmental Neurobiology: A primer.
Today
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Busy, Busy, Busy...
10 year old suicide
The Chicago Tribune is reporting a story of a 10 year old Evanston boy who was found hanging from a hook in the school bathroom. The coroner has ruled it a suicide.
Assuming it was a suicide (many are skeptical, thinking it was a bully who hung him up there for laughs), this is one of the most bizarrely depressing stories I have read, and it has left me wondering...
Psychologically, what compels a 10 year old to take his own life? I suppose the question is what compels anyone to. Depression, chronic pain, hallucinations? Was the boy even aware of what he was doing, or was he imitating something he saw on TV? Given that the boy was reportedly happy, what changed?
There are approximately 3 dozen child suicides per year in this country. What were all of these kids thinking? What differentiates child suicide from accidental death?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Rat Surgeries
Normally these surgeries are fun for me, but today I am just not feeling it. Hopefully this won't affect the outcomes. FYI, here is a bad picture of the area I'm catheterizing... the greenish part is the jugular vein.
Chicago fire
As an art/architecture buff, I always get particularly sad when this type of tragedy happens. Much of the contents of these buildings are works of art, or historical relics (and in the case of Catholic churches, often anthropological relics as well). When a modern building burns down, the first thing I think of is whether or not everyone is OK. When a beautiful old building catches fire, my thoughts are more muddled between concern for life and concern for the aesthetics. I probably have my priorities out of whack, but for your perusal:
This is the interior of Holy Name:
And the organ:
And the Galeros, which are the ceremonial hats of each of the Cardinals that have died while serving there:
I remember when Cardinal Bernardin passed away, and they hung his Galero on the ceiling. From what the Tribune says, there is some water damage, so I hope they are OK.
Holy Name recently reopened after a long stretch of renovations, so it is particularly sad for their Parishoners.
I am always sad to see anything in Chicago burn down. Until I hear otherwise, I will blame it on Mrs. O'Leary's cow.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Catholic Wedding Planning
Dan and I fall into a special (although not particularly rare) group, according to the Catholic Church, because:
- we live together
- Dan is not Catholic
- have been married before
- have one non-Christian (or non-baptized) partner
Anyway, since SFX is in Chicagoland, and Dan and I are in West Lafayette, we are completing all of the coursework here, at St. Thomas Aquinas (the Catholic center at Purdue). I spoke to the lady in charge of everything, Eileen Strater, on the phone today. She was really helpful in explaining what we will need to have accomplished prior to our wedding. Here is an overview:
- Meet and fill out a questionnaire. There will be 150+ questions (more for us, b/c of our "special" status)
- Go to a pre-cana retreat (ours will be Saturday, 2/21, pretty much all day)
- Attend several other meetings (she said about 3, around 1h each) to discuss our answers to the questionnaire, and discuss different topics such as conflict resolution, commitment, etc.
- Fill out paperwork. This includes obtaining a "freedom to marry" affidavit, which our parents are to fill out, to prove that we haven't been married before, and that there is nothing that is in the way of us getting married before the Church. We also need to obtain baptismal certificates (Dan's can be any sort of proof of baptism; mine has to be an official Catholic document from the place I was baptized). These need to be obtained within the 6 months prior to the wedding (so between April 10, and October 10, 2009).
There is no Snuffy... Only Zuul.
Waiting for Snuffy
I guess not everyone finds softened water as exciting as I do, but it means a few lovely things:
- Better hair.
- Better skin.
- Less soapscum sticking to the side of the bathtub (I hope, anyway!).
Monday, February 2, 2009
Dance Marathon
Now he is *dancing* the Dance Marathon in Iowa; he will be dancing (or at least standing) for 24 (continuous) hours this weekend.
Charlie is trying to raise $1000 in 4 days for this cause; he has made a good start but still has a ways to go. If you feel the need to donate, you can go here.
Thanks, everyone!!! :)